Two weeks ago I lost my best friend, my furbaby and everyday I get the ache of wanting to hold her. I miss her so much, I miss her fur, her scent, her loving cuddles, her needy ways and the way she loved a dash of my wine. This is the very last picture we took together on the day she crossed over, we knew it would be our last.
Unfortunately we lost her much quicker than we thought. She was scheduled for a vet appt on Saturday, April 8th just for my sanity to see her progress because she was not getting up right away when she saw me anymore, she was taking her time and started eating less (though she never said no to treats). My daughter came home from college on Thursday night, April 6th and I had already started having to help Chloe steady herself to stand when I put her down. On Friday morning, April 7th she started declining. My husband was home because he had just had gall bladder surgery the night before. I was sitting on the sofa with Chloe and wanted to put her down to get my coffee. As I try to let her steady herself, she just collapsed and hit her head on the floor. That’s it! I just lost it! I scooped her up and just started bawling because I knew that she was starting to give up. Her little body was starting to fail her soul. I looked at her eyes and she was saying mama, its time. I understand now what ppl mean when they say, you know. My husband just held us and then went to wake up our oldest and tell her she needs to get up because its time to be with Chloe. She was very upset, saying we promised her the week with Chloe, but it was not something we could do. At this point we were all emotional. I had to call the vet and tell them that the scheduled appt for the next day was going to be her farewell. That call was extremely difficult. We just held her and talked to her but as the time went on she started laboring in her breathing. It was obvious she was having difficulty, so I told the family we cannot let her suffer and we should move the appt up earlier in the day. I called again, the dreaded conversation and moved the appt to 8am Saturday. We continued the day just cuddling her, giving her treats and lots of love and affection. At 3:30pm I went to pick up my youngest in school, on my way back just 15 mins later my oldest calls me hysterical that Chloe is not breathing well, that at one point she barely could catch her breath. That’s it, I hung up and called the vet from my car and said I needed something today, that I did not want to lose her like this while suffering. They gave me an appt for 5:15pm. We only had barely 2hrs left to cherish with our girl. My youngest was hysterical in the car, I was a mess, it was just the worst day of my life. I went in and gave them the timeframe and we just all got ready. We set her down next to her brother Bailey so they could get their last good bye and he just sniffed her and licked her head. It was so heartbreaking. So on Friday, April 7th at 6:20pm my girl crossed the rainbow bridge. I held her through it all and for so long after. I could not tear myself away but alas my husband said we had to let her go, she wasn’t there anymore. I can still feel that entire moment throughout my heart and soul. Its the hardest most difficult experience of my life. I have yet to remove her dog bowls from their spot, her bed. I sleep with the last shirt she wore under my pillow because I need to smell her essence every morning and every night. I just don’t know when I will be able to move on but it feels like forever.
In honor of my beautiful baby girl, Chloe Sasha I got a small paw print tattoo on my ankle 4 days later. We shall walk together forever, side by side.
This is the urn we ordered for her. Its beautiful and so perfect on display. She is resting in peace at home where she belongs in her favorite room.
This is Chloe’s space in our favorite room on my bookshelf. My friend gifted me the frame and statue of angel holding a furbaby.
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